How do you win over tough personal opponents?

Try these ideas if you want to improve your relationship with people who seem to be personal opponents:

·         Analyze their hidden agendas.  What are these people doing to enhance their personal power?

·         Commit yourself to problem solving.  Try to establish a win-win situation.

·         Look for things you and your opponent hold in common.

·         Explore feelings and individual interpretations.  Opposition is fueled by emotions.  Long-standing feuds often begin with a misinterpretation.  Get all feelings out on the table.

·         Don’t wait for a convenient time to resolve an issue.  There usually won’t be one.  Give each other permission to confront problems as soon as they arise.  Hurt feelings will fester the longer you defer them.

·         Use three magic words when starting what could be a confrontation.  “Could it be…?”

·         Strive for a mutual commitment to specific actions.  Talking isn’t enough.  Agreed-upon actions must follow.

·         Don’t expect major improvements overnight.  Your opponents may need time to see if it’s safe to let down their guard.

 Source:  The New Way to Compete by Harry Olson.  Published by Lexington.  ISBN 0-68879-843-1.

Do you have any “back-from-the brink” stories?

Inspirational stories tend to take two forms: 1. How people succeeded.  2.  How people failed, and what they learned from failure.  There’s a third form, however, that’s little used but highly effective: “How I (or someone else) almost failed.”

 

People are intrigued by tales of how someone was this close to success when circumstances got in the way.  For instance, the story of a successful sale takes on added interest when the storyteller brings listeners to the edge of disaster and then pulls them back with a tale of triumph.  Consider that the next time you’re trying to motivate listeners.  Despite the trite warning to “cut to the chase,” listeners really want to hear the details, not just the happy ending.  That’s the story that gets their attention.