How do you win over tough personal opponents?

Try these ideas if you want to improve your relationship with people who seem to be personal opponents:

·         Analyze their hidden agendas.  What are these people doing to enhance their personal power?

·         Commit yourself to problem solving.  Try to establish a win-win situation.

·         Look for things you and your opponent hold in common.

·         Explore feelings and individual interpretations.  Opposition is fueled by emotions.  Long-standing feuds often begin with a misinterpretation.  Get all feelings out on the table.

·         Don’t wait for a convenient time to resolve an issue.  There usually won’t be one.  Give each other permission to confront problems as soon as they arise.  Hurt feelings will fester the longer you defer them.

·         Use three magic words when starting what could be a confrontation.  “Could it be…?”

·         Strive for a mutual commitment to specific actions.  Talking isn’t enough.  Agreed-upon actions must follow.

·         Don’t expect major improvements overnight.  Your opponents may need time to see if it’s safe to let down their guard.

 Source:  The New Way to Compete by Harry Olson.  Published by Lexington.  ISBN 0-68879-843-1.