How do you build a better team despite personality conflicts?

Essentials of effective teamwork

Your team can overcome personality conflicts – and boost productivity – by keeping the following points in mind:

1. You don’t have to be best buddies to work together. Even if you don’t socialize after work, you can still have perfectly productive working relationships with team members.

2. No one’s perfect. Sure, some of your teammates will get on your nerves. But you too may rub people the wrong way. Remind everyone that all members deserve to be treated with courtesy and respect – despite any personality differences.

3. You may have more in common than you think. Even with your differences, you share something significant with co-workers – a stake in the success of your team and company. View colleagues as allies in your quest to achieve goals.

4. Accept, even encourage, differing opinions. The results can generate fresh thinking and give you a new perspective on your job.

5. Effective teamwork takes planning. Don’t let teammates go with the flow and hope for the best. Work with members to set clear-cut goals. Discuss them together, write them down, and distribute copies to the group.

6. Measure progress. Being aware of the team’s accomplishments will inspire everyone to continue working together.

Source: Leadership From the Front Lines. Published by Bureau of Business Practice, 800-243-0876.

Are Leaders also Managers?

Leaders look from the "outside in" while managers "draw out" from what's on the inside. Leaders cover the vision (where the organization is going) while managers cover the mission (how the organization will get there). A person can do both.

Finish this statement: “If I were in charge of the world’s economy, I would...

If I were in charge of the world's economy, I would follow a strict vetting process of hiring business individuals with strong financial minds that could categorize government expenses and pass austerity measures to draw back from spending so much while eliminating pet projects that cost too much. The process of borrowing our own money from a central bank that charges us bank interest would be re-examined so a cycle would be created and we could get a large deficit reduced while increasing the top line.

Are you good at thinking on your feet?

When someone springs a question on you that requires an immediate answer, use PREPO to organize your thoughts quickly and concisely.

Point: First, make your point. This is your major statement and should cover only one idea.

Reason: Next, give your reason for making the point. By answering the question, “Why do you say that?” you can expand on your first statement.

Evidence: Third, offer supporting information. You might include data, demographics, and examples that reinforce your point. Evidence should be specific – it’s where the proof lies.

Point: Now make your point again. Good evidence will lead you directly back to your main point. Use the same words, or better yet, rephrase your point – but don’t change your content or attitude.

Outcome: This is a quick, action-oriented wrap-up. Use it to state an action you’ll take, something for your audience to do or simply to balance and close your argument.

Source: Minding Your Business, by Carolyn Dickson. Published by VOICE-PRO, Inc., 216-932-8040.

How do you manage burnout?

It actually may be helpful to re-think this question. You might want to ask, "How do you manage to keep the fire burning". Then you can define what it takes to keep a real fire burning: Fuel, Oxygen, and Heat. Then if you analogize the fire to business or relationships, you can think of:

• Fuel = resource to keep yourself or your business running
• Oxygen = what it takes for you or your business to keep breathing at a good rate
• Heat = what is your personal or business passion

Since these answers differ by each person or business, each person must ask:

• "What resources do I need to keep going?"
• "What do I need so that I don't get "winded"?
• "How do I stick to my passion?"

If these questions are not answered properly, the fire may "burn out", and then you have a completely different question about "starting back up"

What are some leadership-related quotes?

Here are a couple of quotes:

“Leadership is Influence - John Maxwell

“Leaders bring in what is outside; Managers draw out what is within” - First Break All the Rules, Marcus Buckingham

Which words reveal someone willing to take risk?

You can judge co-worker risk threshold by listening carefully to their choice of words.

Low-risk-tolerance language clues:
• “I don’t like to make waves”
• “What do I do if things go wrong”
• “I don’t like to work without specific instruction”

High-risk-tolerance language clues:
• “I like the freedom to do a job the way I think it should be done”
• “Detailed instructions don’t always produce the best results”
• “We’ve got to be able to accept great change.”

Source: Paul Dunphy, Design Label, East Lyme, CT 06371.

We need a “Love & Respect Your Spouse” day or should that be every day?

I believe a "Love & Respect Your Spouse" day is called an anniversary. Other than your anniversary, EVERY day should be used to please your spouse. Surprise them...and love them.

By the way, men and women are so vastly different. It's easier for guys to respect women and women to love men. Guys should spend additional time loving women and women should spend additional time respecting men.

Brutal Empathy – Is this new word combo distorted?

Are the two traits mutually exclusive or are they essential elements in professional development coaching?

A sociopath will use Brutal Empathy to think and feel vicariously through another person. However, the sociopath will have a cruel and harsh "bent" about those thoughts and feelings so the view is distorted and twisted. Unfortunately, this phrase is a form of "NewSpeak", which was brought up in the novel '1984'. This "NewSpeak" strives to make the distorted and twisted a new normal. Quite frankly, I would not want someone coaching me that used Brutal Empathy because they wouldn't have my best interest in mind.

How do you stop ramblers from stealing your time?

Listening to someone who rambles on and on can drain your time. But there’s a quick technique you can use to stop ramblers in their tracks.

Once you feel the person has reached the real point of the conversation, say: “Let’s make sure I’ve got this. You’re saying” …

That’s a subtle signal that the point’s been made – and the conversation can end.

Source: How to Survive – and Thrive – in Accounts Payable, by SkillPath Seminars

How do you give feedback to a superior who is excited about a brilliant idea and eagerly wants to hear you agree?

I would make it your goal to see how your superior’s idea could work. Work with him/her and work through any inherent problems. One of two things is going to happen: You'll get sold on the idea that it may actually be brilliant OR your boss will lose excitement because of any unfixable inherent problems.

What element or elements of managing a project do you find most rewarding?

The MOST rewarding element of Project Management is that the major stakeholders are pleased.

The Transition Game on e-Book is Here

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If you don't have a Kindle, this site will help you get one!

How do you win someone back that is angry with you?

Good news: Your ability to handle conflict can actually increase their loyalty to you.

…Here are six steps to help you reach that goal:

1. Deal with the…emotions first. Listen and respond with empathy.
2. Ask questions to get specifics…
3. Restate the issues and confirm you correctly understand the problem.
4. Offer a choice of alternatives to resolve the situation.
5. Let [them]…decide which alternatives to use.
6. Follow through on what you agree to do. If possible, do more than you promised.


Source: Women in Business, Published by American Business Women’s Association, 816-361-6621.

What is business?

Business is the backbone of the free market system...

What’s more important? Having a satisfied family or having an engaged family?

I may have people disagree with this comment, but I'm not sure increasing family satisfaction should be the ultimate goal. Rather, increasing family engagement will create a winning environment. If your family is engaged, they are loyal, they function well, and they act as partners. Only through involvement and buy-in can you increase family engagement. I realize that our families should be treated as an asset, but trying to satisfy them blurs the lines with accomplishing anything as a family.

Do you use too many words when you speak?

Short speeches … or else

The next time you’re asked to write a report or make a presentation, keep this story in mind:

A teacher asked a student to sum up Socrates’ life in four lines. He said:

1. Socrates lived long ago.
2. He was very intelligent.
3. Socrates gave long speeches.
4. His friends poisoned him.

Source: George Seller, from a “Strengthening Your Board” seminar.

How do you develop your children to be leaders?

Leadership Development is all about developing the attitude of influence. If someone is influencing, then they are leading. There is something called an OODA loop (developed by the Armed Forces), which helps children learn by Observing, Orienting, making Decisions, and then Acting. Research this OODA loop further for your children and see how mentoring can solidify this learning. Once they consistently repeat this OODA loop in decision making, they are ready to move on. Next they will learn how to create a Vision, which is essential for a leader. Vision is, effectively, "where" they are going.

So here are some important components to Leadership Development for your children: 1. Learn how to influence 2. Learn how to use the OODA loop consistently (through mentoring) 3. Learn how to create a Vision.

What percentage of the time do you think negatively?

Tap the Power of Positive Reminders

Here’s proof that it’s important to surround ourselves with positive reminders. Studies show that 83% of what we think about is negative. The result: reduced productivity and lower morale.

To improve your outlook, try this tip: Write down one thing you’ve learned each day. Have the list where you can see it to remind you of your accomplishments. An easier option: Keep a picture of a favorite person or vacation spot on your desk.

Source: George-Anne Fay, consultant, www.gafay.com

What is the most important leadership core value?

Great question and it's important to break that question down: What we "value" is what we place importance on or what we find worth or significance in. Central to leadership is the ability to influence so that followers can be gained. Even the leaders that have no significant title, passion, or integrity may become "great" ("great" being defined as exceptional in degree or intensity). Hitler had limited integrity, but could be defined as a great leader because he influenced many followers. Ghandi did not show his passion and had no formal title, but he influenced many followers. There are even some leaders that don't even want to be a leader, but people follow them (a scene from Forrest Gump comes to mind....fictitious but could be true). All of these leaders have one thing in common: They're going somewhere. So...from an outsiders' perspective, the outsider would value the ability to influence as the most important and from an insider's perspective, the leader would value where they are going (vision) as most important.

How do you deal with a deviant or destructive family or organizational culture?

I know this sounds like a depressing answer to the question of how to deal with a deviant or destructive family or organizational culture, but you can't change culture just like you can't change an individual's nature without a death or near-death experience. Both need to be changed from the inside out. So since we're talking about a culture, the only way to deal with it is to replace behaviors. When the people with the more constructive behavior outnumber the deviants, the culture will follow.”

Are you one that offers advice freely?

You may mean well by offering a co-worker or family member advice, but your comments may be taken the wrong way.

Here’s how you can offer advice so it’s well received:

1. Give some advance warning. Don’t jump right into your advice. Lay some ground work before you begin. An opening such as, “I have some ideas that may help you …” gets others ready to listen. It also gives them a chance to stop you if they don’t want your input.

2. Phrase your advice in first-person singular. The other person will be less defensive and more likely to listen with an open mind. Instead of, “What you need to do is…” use yourself as an example: “What helps me is…”

Source: Dance Lessons, by Chip Bell and Heather Shea, as seen in Positive Leadership, 323-960-4100.

Should we pay the married and child-rearing employees and citizens more in overall pay & benefits?

Inherent in this question is an assumption that they should be paid the same, which in a free market society, does not work. "Pay for Performance" has nothing to do with marital status and number of exemptions. However, marital status and number of dependents MAY have something to do with how the employee views responsibility and how they perform for their pay.

Is too much time spent thinking about job satisfaction?

What do I think about job satisfaction? If we're looking to increase productivity, quality, innovation, and client/customer satisfaction, then looking at job satisfaction is looking in the wrong place. You can have a completely satisfied employee that lacks productivity, isn't particularly concerned about quality or innovation, and doesn't really care about satisfying the client/customer.

In order to increase all of the factors above, the true measurement should be employee "engagement"! The Gallup organization actually debunked some prior held myths and found that increasing "engagement" was the way to success.

What is Resiliency?

Resiliency, in a data center context, is the ability of a server, network, storage system, or an entire facility, to recover quickly and continue operating even when there has been an equipment failure, power outage or other disruption.

http://whatis.techtarget.com/

Can "hands-on" management be an excuse to not train and trust in people’s abilities?

Sometimes "hands-on" management is an excuse to not train and trust. There are times, however, where you will find an "all hands on deck" situation and a leader better be available if people need help.

Have you ever been part of a mentoring relationship as a mentor or protégé?

My dad taught me well. I played handball, then racquetball, then golf with him most of my life. He was my mentor before having a mentor was main-stream and he taught me to look at myself with a critical eye, enhance the things that I did well, and improve the things that I didn’t do well. To repay that relationship, I have created a mentoring program that I have used in work and personal settings.

Is it good to concentrate on your strengths?

People are most successful when they’re matched with activities they love to do, according to a Stanford University study of 250,000 people.

The study concluded that high intelligence didn’t guarantee high accomplishment. Hard work and enthusiasm in the field of choice was the leading indicator of success.

Implications for you: Instead of spending time trying to correct weaknesses, focus on developing a special talent. Here’s how to do it:

• Pick one strength to pursue. Excellence is a product of hard work and liking what you do. Adjust your goals to target your strengths.

• Ignore weaknesses that won’t hinder you. Work on a problem only if it lessens your productivity. Let strengths overpower your weaknesses.

• Recognize your self-importance. If you deem yourself unworthy of respect, so will everyone else. Self-esteem comes before peer esteem.

Source: Soar With Your Strengths, by Donald Clifton. Published by Nelson, 415-288-0260.

Define Success

Success is just completing something the way you intended to complete it.

Do you have to make a choice between being content and being ambitious?

There has to be a balance between ambition and contentment. It is good to achieve and ambition can be just the pursuit of achievement. It is good to have ease of mind. Contentment is just ease of mind. These two words do not necessarily exclude each other. However, they can exclude each other if we are being selfish about our ambition. There is no contentment with selfish ambition. They can also exclude each other if we are satisfied with failure. There is nothing ambitious about being content with failure.

Can there be too much information? How do you decide what to ignore?

"Too much information" depends on the source. If the source is questionable, any information is too much information. However, if the source is completely trustworthy, any little nugget of information could be valuable and the information can "keep on coming".

Do you say something to someone if they're being rude?

Rudeness isn’t illegal but costs plenty!

If you think it’s not your place to speak up when others exhibit rude behavior at work, think again.

A new study shows that rude employees cost companies millions in lost productivity. And the biggest offenders are managers. When employees think the boss isn’t civil, here’s what happens:

• 53% said they’ve lost hours of productivity sweating about “what will happen next time?”
• 46% considered changing jobs
• 37% say they feel less committed to their company, and
• 22% deliberately got even by cutting back their efforts.

Keeping your mouth shut and taking it seems the easy way out. But to get more positive results:

1. Repeat what was just said. For example, say, “Let me see if I understood you correctly. Did you mean to say … ?” Sometimes people don’t realize they’ve come across rude until they hear what they actually said.
2. Give people the benefit of the doubt. If they aren’t usually rude, assume they’re having a bad day. Consider taking a day to cool off before discussing the incident.
3. Steer the discussion toward solutions so you can work together for a more productive result.

Source: Christine Pearson, University of North Carolina, 919-962-3117

What do you have to get to be happy?

Like beauty, happiness is in the eye of the beholder. Since Happiness and Happening have the same derivative word, people who look to get their happiness from the things happening around them (that may or may not be out of their circle of influence) may not ever "get" what they need to be happy.

How do you make what you say "stick"?

Make what you say stick

Whenever possible, visually illustrate what you say with objects, charts and diagrams, handouts or pictures.

Research from the U.S. Public Health Service Audio Visual Facility found when people are taught by words alone, their immediate recall of the material is 70%. Three days later it’s just 10%.

But when people are told and shown information, immediate recall is 85%. Three days later it’s still 65%.

Source: Straight Answers to People Problems, by Fred Jandt. Published by Irwin Professional Publishing, 800-634-3966.

Spend where you must, Save where you can.

This is probably true in the general sense. I've experienced this with the people that I've encountered. I've also encountered this mind-set with myself personally. Our parents that may have gone through the Great Depression thought differently and this mentality to spend and not save is what probably got us into our problems that we're encountering today. The encouraging thing is that this won't be called the Great Recession, but the recession that made us great. We'll come back to the roots of "Spend where you must, Save where you can”

What is strategy?

I know it sounds like a paradox, but good habits should be built in tactics first. I haven't met anyone that can be trusted as a strategist who didn't spend time being trusted with tactics.

If you're bad at the tactics, you will also be bad at strategy. In order to develop a strategic mind-set so that you can obtain a specific goal or result, a method or series of maneuvers must be accomplished.

What adjective do you describe yourself by in your relationships?

Better yet, what adjective would others describe you by in your relationships? Quiet, cerebral, strong-willed, critical, conceptual, dynamic, joyful, loving?

Increase your odds of having the right relationships by taking an “adjective” test. With someone else, list each name in the relationship on a piece of paper and next to each name, write 3 descriptive words that come to mind. Then describe yourself. It might be a fun exercise.

Virtual Teams: How do you keep them working together?

It's amazing how long a well-timed team building event works. Once the team meets each other and they share an event, they’ll remember each other and relate better over the long term. They may not even have to get together on a consistent basis if the team building event(s) are meaningful enough.

Did you ever make a rookie mistake where you knew better?

I would have pulled back that memo when "I cried foul" on another department. It seemed pretty silly after I wrote those exact words and then proceeded to copy everyone. Unfortunately, I couldn't pull it back because it was on paper and already distributed.

How do you measure up as a leader?

How do you measure up? - -

Check your leadership potential

Do you have what it takes to be a leader?

Place a check mark next to the abilities you feel you have. Then ask a co-worker to rate you and compare the results. Do you:

_____ Communicate effectively

_____ Set priorities and action plans

_____ Learn and improve procedures

_____ See how your responsibility relates to the big picture

_____ Stand up when under fire

_____ Analyze problems and make sound decisions

_____ Learn from your mistakes

_____ Accept risk and take on difficult assignments

_____ Focus on the end product

_____ Exhibit strong social and interpersonal skills

_____ Adapt to changing conditions, influences, and environments

_____ Inspire excellence and commitment in others

_____ Demonstrate a high tolerance for stress and pressure

Scoring: If you scored 8 or higher, your leadership potential is high. Take corrective action on the items you or your co-worker left unchecked.

Source: The Center for Creative Leadership, Greensboro, NC, 910-288-7210.

Should buy-in and/or consensus be necessary to drive change?

The two most important parts of organizational transition are involvement and buy-in. Company employees or associates must actively participate in the movement from point A to point B. If leaders and associates can begin with the end in mind and drive to the change together, transition becomes easier.

Who would you rather work with, and why? a) An extremely incompetent, but affable co-worker/boss? b) A very competent, but jerk co-worker/boss?

There are plenty of people that we work with that are extremely competent and NOT jerks. That being said, even though choice B will, at least, get the job done, choices A and B are both unacceptable.

Have you ever been in a situation where it bothers you not by what someone said, but how they said it?

How You Say it Counts

Studies show that 38% of your meaning is conveyed by how you sound.

Try these techniques to energize your verbal communication:

• Avoid disclaimer statements.
Comments like “This may be a stupid idea” or “I just want to say” telegraph that what you’re about to say is unimportant.

• Don’t let your voice rise at the end of a statement.
This can make you sound uncertain. Solution: Practice speaking into a tape recorder. If you sound like you’re asking a question, you’re not delivering the message with power and confidence.

Source: Patricia Smith-Pierce, president, Power Speaking Consultants, Schaumburg, IL.

Do you tend to plan or just let things happen?

You won't be able to be effective without focus and focus is questionable if you're not prepared to plan. Plans can be short and succinct, but they need to be there.

What’s in store for us? Happy times or is something still lurking?

There was an interesting article in a CFO magazine last year where 74% of the CFO's surveyed reduced their workforce in the last 20 months and 84% of those CFO's will not reverse that action. We need business-confidence back to make this recovery complete.

Do you argue (first) when some objects to your point of view?

I do! Instead, don’t automatically say – or even think – that others are wrong for objecting to your point of view. The more you argue, the more they’ll fight to justify their positions. Ask questions instead to uncover the thinking behind the objection. Source: Talk is Not Cheap, by Beverly Inman-Ebel. Published by Baird Press, 512-329-8373.

What is “normal”?

Since the definition of "normal" is "to conform to what is expected", it depends on what is generally expected. It does appear that most CFO's would expect that, even though this year will be "less bad" than last year, we are in for low growth, high unemployment, and low ROI. ...so since it's expected, it's normal...the new normal...

How do you keep people motivated when there are cutbacks?

I'm from the financial, business, and management industry and how I've kept staff motivated during layoffs, is through open communication. Nobody likes to be surprised. Unfortunately, some of those in management are secretive and think that if they have open communication, employees will sabotage the company.

How do You Put Your Ideas to the Test?

Putting Ideas to the Test

Here’s an “extreme edge” test you can apply before accepting or rejecting a new thought or idea.

First fill in the blanks:

“This thought or idea is absolutely correct because ____________.” List every reason, no matter how small, until you run out of ideas.

Then list answers to this: “This thought is absolutely incorrect because ____________.”

What did you learn? Look for new points of interest or discussion, answers you didn’t expect, reasons to keep or reject the idea. You’ll start to see that great ideas are born and tested at the extreme edges.

Sources: Executive Update, 202-429-9370.

What is a leader’s most important contribution to group culture?

A leader cannot change group culture unless they have the vision to hire individuals that have their desired culture. When the majority of the individuals have the desired culture, they will metaphorically surround the individuals without the desired culture and those other individuals will either change their mindset or will eject themselves. So, in summary, leaders must have the vision to hire those with the right culture and only then will the leaders contribute to group culture.

What can you do to get a faster response from people?

Want Faster Response?

You’ll encourage people to return your phone calls faster if you leave effective voice mail messages. Experts suggest making yours better by:

1. Keeping your message between 40 and 50 seconds. Too short and the message may seem insignificant. Too long and you may rile the other party.

2. Pretending you’re writing your phone number in the air as you recite it. Most callers speak much too fast, which forces recipients to replay the message repeatedly.

3. Speaking louder than usual, enunciating as you speak. Your recipient may retrieve your message in a noisy place like an airport.

Source: Professional speaker Jeff Davidson in Association Management, 202-626-2708.

How do you leave your troubles at the door?

Leave Your Troubles at the Door

Would you like to leave the office each evening with less stress – and feeling good about the day?

Allot 10 to 15 minutes at the end of each day to do something positive.

For example, send hand-written thank you notes to employees or business associates for providing extraordinary service/hard work.

When you’re finished, you’ll be in a much more positive frame of mind.

Source: PHC Profit Report, 847-297-3450.

How do you balance reductionism (analytical thinking) & systems thinking (strategic thinking)? I may not get many answers on this one.

Analytical thinking as a whole makes up strategic thinking.

How do you find balance between work and family?

Family and Work: You can find a balance

To put family and career demands in perspective, realize that some trade-offs are necessary and the balance will be tipped unevenly at times.

Here are four tips to help you stay sane:

1. Don’t aim for perfect balance. Set your priorities, but realize they’re likely to change. Adjust accordingly, making decisions on the basis of whatever issues demand your attention most immediately. Ask yourself: “What will happen if I don’t take care of this issue at work? Is this home activity a must-do, a should-do or just a nice thing to do?”

2. Avoid guilt. Don’t beat yourself up over that extra bit of time you spend at work. Feeling guilty won’t get you anywhere. Likewise, don’t feel remorse if you must leave work on time for an important family event. Take stock of your expectations for yourself and your family.

3. Establish family rituals. They don’t have to be elaborate. Comfortable routines organized around mealtime, bath time and bed time can add security to your family.

4. Be at home even when you’re on the road. For example:
• Make a video or audio tape of your child’s favorite story.
• Leave notes around the house.
• Cook and freeze special meals.
• Call home every day at a set time.
• Send letters and postcards.

Source: Care Packages for the Home, by Barbara Glanz. ISBN 0-8362-6834-2.
Published by Andrews McMeel Publishing.

Take Control of Office Whining

Conflict Management - - -

Few things are more annoying than whining co-workers. They constantly point out problems but never act to improve the situation.

To make matters worse, their negative attitudes can have a serious effect on the morale and productivity of those around them.

To minimize whining:

• Start with yourself. It’s difficult to see ourselves as whiners, because we believe all of our own complaints are well-founded. Before you let yourself off the hook, keep a written log of your complaints for 30 days. See if a pattern develops. Did you fix any of the complaints or were you simply letting off steam? There’s nothing wrong with a little of the latter, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand.

• Don’t dismiss the whining too quickly. There’s a strong possibility that a trivial complaint could be a cover-up for a real problem. If there’s something you can do to resolve the complaint, do it. If the subject of the whining can’t be fixed, ask whiners to come up with solutions to problems that can be corrected.

• Listen carefully. Give whiners a few minutes to vent. They may be simply trying to relieve tensions. As they unburden to a sympathetic ear, they frequently come to realize that the matter is really only a small annoyance. The result is that whiners talk themselves right out of the gripe.

• Keep your composure. If you lose your temper or show hostility, the whiner may respond in kind. A heated argument will only worsen the situation.

Source: Barbara Bartocci, Bbartocci@aol.com

Is branding related to change management?

The brand is something with which you label or mark the change. People will wind up grading and making an assessment of the change and applying it to the brand. If the change is bad and you need to change from that to a new status quo, the brand will need to be changed at that point, also, since they are now linked.

Get a Helping Hand

When you’re looking for a word, using your hands may help jog your memory, according to a study in the American Journal of Psychology.

Researchers found that people who held onto a bar to keep hands still had more trouble thinking of complex words than those who were allowed to move their hands freely.

So the next time you’re tongue-tied, go ahead and gesture – a few hand waves may take you a long way.

Source: Fitness, 212-499-1569.

Can an introverted leader see what others leaders don´t see?

A couple of thoughts: Introverts don't necessarily look and listen better than extroverts, which will help them see and hear what other leaders don't. Unfortunately, Introverts may have filters just as much as an extrovert and the voices that limit visibility and hearing could be just as loud inside an introverts head as outside an extroverts head. However, an introvert with genuine care for the organization and people is very likely to see what other leaders don't. It turns out that "care" is the defining factor.

Problem Solving

Unlock Your Creativity

When you simply can’t come up with a solution for a nagging problem, remember these rules about creativity:

• Accept that creativity is a struggle. Often the solutions you find aren’t the ones you expected. Don’t automatically reject spontaneous solutions. Be receptive to off-the-wall ideas, even if it means discarding approaches you’re comfortable with.

• Set reasonable goals. Don’t expect the first idea you come up with to be the best one. Formulate reasonable goals, but do set them.

• Don’t panic. The creative process has a natural rhythm. Sometimes ideas gush, and sometimes they barely trickle. When the panic associated with creative block strikes, realize that it’s temporary and the creative process will begin to flow again.

Source: Les Stevens, Lodging Management Software, Harwich, MA.

What is Empathy and how do you put it into action?

Empathy is identifying with someone on the basis of feelings, thoughts, or attitudes. You don't give empathy to get something. However, when you empathize with someone else, you do connect with them and a connected team achieves desired action and change better than disconnected teams.

How do you get your ideas accepted?

You’ve come up with a great idea. Unfortunately, it’s not within your power to implement. So you decide to take it to the people who can make it happen. But before you do this, make sure you propose the idea properly.

Many a bright idea has been doomed because it was poorly presented. Follow these tips to get your ideas accepted:

• Put the purpose up front. Don’t wait until you’re 15 minutes or five pages into your message to let your bosses know what you’re after. The gist of your proposal should be the first item you cover.
• Be specific. Don’t cloud the issue with vague words and unnecessary background data.
• Compare, don’t knock. Remember, your audience may have a vested interest in the old method and may take negative comments personally.
• Stress the benefits. Your proposal is a marketing vehicle for selling your idea, not an opinion paper. Make your case using facts and figures that demonstrate savings or improved performance. • Acknowledge limitations. Every idea is going to have some drawbacks. If you can state those shortcomings up front and provide ways to work around them, you won’t give opponents ammunition.

Source: Robert Vels, Cellular Rent-A-Phone, New York.

What has the biggest impact on performance?

Leadership development has the biggest impact on performance...

In a great company, being a leader in your line of work and doing the next job before you get that job would certainly be a key to great performance.

However, in a bad company great performance usually follows the Peter Principle when peoples' careers advance to their level of incompetence because they were really good at their last job.

Which common expressions should you avoid?

Warning: Some common workplace expressions, you use with co-workers and customers, may be hurting your reputation. Here are two to avoid:

• “You’ll have to…” This phrase suggests your conversation partner has no choice. Instead of “You’ll have to give me your phone number” try, “Please give me your number and I’ll get back to you quickly.”

• “I’ll have to…” This expression communicates you don’t really want to help, but you will. Instead of “I’ll have to go find that information” try, “I’d be happy to look that up. Could you hold for a moment?”

Source: Wooing Customers Back, by Mark Holmes. Published by Advance Mark Publishing, 800-841-8540.

The Transition Game: What I didn't know...that cost me my job, marriage, and peace of mind. [Paperback]

In this provocative book, Greg Olney uncovers the movement between the Status Quo and Commitment to Change. Olney reveals his goal for each reader to move quickly, but surely, through transition to the desired change rather than linger in transition. He has created a five (5) step model to transition individuals and companies and uniquely explores common pitfalls while defining what will happen if the Status Quo continues.

The concepts brought up in this book generate strong provocation because the world tells the transition story differently. But the book doesn’t stop there. It takes risk into account so that even if you have huge, sweeping, volcano-sized change (that could even be loosely defined as great), it won’t destroy your business’s or family’s bottom line.

After reading this book, you will look at transition differently and be able to solve painful problems that you may have just been putting up with in your life and business.

Greg Olney is the founder of a consulting company called GONATELLE, pronounced “gonna tell”. Just like, “You’re ‘gonna tell’ everyone how happy you are after your business problems are fixed”. Olney is a business and management professional with over 20 years in management of Operations, Client Service, Project Management, and IT with companies ranging from multi-million dollars to multi-billion dollars. He lives out his purpose and has done presentations reaching people that extend from presidents to prisoners. His purpose is to affect change in others so that they can do great things.

Are You Letting Others Add to Your Workload?

Beware of the upward delegator. When others come to you with a problem, be careful not to make their responsibilities yours.

In an effort to end the conversation and get back to your already full agenda you may offer to “look into” the problem. The result: a new project for you.

Instead, turn the conversation around and offer to review the finished work.

Source: 365 Ways to Simplify Your Work Life, by Odette Pollar.

Do you keep your e-Mail inbox empty? If not, why not?

Your inbox should be empty on a regular basis. It’s an inbox not a keepbox.

What makes groups successful and what gets them stuck?

There was a gentleman in the 80's (Meredith Belbin) who discovered the Apollo Syndrome. His discovery was broken down into a couple of key concepts. Your group will be successful with the absence of highly dominant individuals and a leader that can hold their own, but not dominate. Also, the leader would need to be skeptical of anyone in the group who "had an agenda" because the "deadly embrace" would happen. "Deadly embrace" came from the computer world when computers with competing agendas in a network would stop each other from making progress.

Have you ever witnessed someone using empathy just to get something?

Empathy is identifying with someone on the basis of feelings, thoughts, or attitudes. You don't give empathy to get something. However, when you empathize with someone else, you do connect with them and a connected team achieves desired action (and Commitment to Change) better than disconnected teams.

What is the one thing that you’re NOT willing to do for business?

I would not lie and I would not do a job without fulfilling a client need. The money is not worth trading integrity.

How do you change or improve corporate culture?

You can not change or improve corporate culture until you hire and retain the people with the desired culture to begin with. Once the majority of people have the desired culture, they will work like antibodies encircling the infected area until it improves, changes, or ejects itself.

5 Keys to Building Trust

A recent survey concluded that trust has declined at three out of four workplaces over the past two years.

Here’s what you can do to help reverse that trend in your organizations:

• Start from a position of trust. You can approach trust in two ways: 1) trust people on the front end and withdraw it if they prove untrustworthy, or 2) withhold trust until you’re sure it’s warranted. Risk trying No. 1.

• Be consistent. Eliminate discrepancies between what you say and what you do. People can’t count on you if you react one way today and another way tomorrow.

• Listen with an open mind and respect others’ opinions. Attempt to understand and be open to what you hear. Every opinion is worth hearing, even if you don’t agree with it.

• Admit your mistakes. When you’ve erred, others probably know it. Own up to your mistakes and apologize when you’re wrong. Don’t pass the buck or blame others.

• Give credit where credit is due. If the team as a whole did something great, say so. There’s plenty of recognition to go around.

Source: Polish Your People Skills. Published by AMACOM, 1601 Broadway, NY 10019.

What is the best way to deal with difficult people?

The answer lies in Stephen Covey's Habit # 5 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood".

Empathic listening to a difficult-to-deal-with-person is powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with. "Projection" happens when we project our own autobiography (through evaluation, probing, advising, or interpreting) on to others.

When we filter everything through our own paradigm, we miss empathic listening. Instead, rephrasing their content and reflecting their feeling offers a transformational opportunity for them to see themselves in a different light...and that may be the change you're seeking.

I witnessed this, personally, when I was voluntarily working with inmates in a correctional facility. We had a rather difficult-to work-with inmate that we saw transform before our eyes!

What is the difference between a group and a team?

Teams:

• are a group of people working towards a common goal
• clarify goals
• identify hurdles that prevent them from reaching their goals and remove them
• forge pathways to get to their goals
• set up performance measurements to get to their goals

Groups:

• have limited techniques to get to goals that may not be set up
• may not resolve relationship problems all that well
• can distract the people involved from achieving their individual goals
• can meander

Can conflict be a good thing?

Absolutely...conflict is essential to productivity. A sailboat cannot sail without some type of resistance. If there is fear of conflict, the organization or family is dysfunctional.

How do you encourage honest feedback?

Input from bosses, co-workers, or employees is the best tool you have to improve your performance.

But you may be unintentionally sending the message that any criticism – constructive or not – is unwelcome. Even a slightly negative cue can effectively cut off communication.

Here’s how to convey that you’re open to input from others:

 Remember, giving feedback is a risk. Offering constructive criticism is like walking through a minefield. Thank those who take that risk. This reassurance will encourage them to keep communication open and honest.

 Assume they want to help. People who offer feedback are most likely doing so because they want to improve their relationship with you. Those who just want to gripe rarely tell you what they’re thinking.

 Assume the feedback is accurate. Perception is reality. If others say your actions have a negative effect on them, that’s the truth – regardless of what you intended. Explaining your intentions can help, but it doesn’t solve the problem. You must change your behavior to make a positive impact.

 Think now, act later. Exposing a shortcoming almost always hits a nerve, so distance yourself from feedback before you decide what to do about it.

Source: Teaming Up: Making the Transition to a Self-Directed, Team-Based Organization. Published by McGraw-Hill, 800-722-4726.

What is The Essence of Leadership?

The essence of leadership is to Influence and also the ability to attract followers.

Is it better to relationalize or rationalize?

It depends if you’re talking business (truthful business) or personal life:

Rationalize = make (a company, process, or industry) more efficient by reorganizing it in such a way as to dispense with unnecessary personnel and/or equipment.

Relationalize = Building capabilities of an organization through relational databases, systems, and experiences.

As long as this is done truthfully (and not falling into the "Rational-lies" trap), why do you need to have one without the other? They're not mutually exclusive.

Should Facebook be blocked at work?

In a business sense, it should be blocked except for the Marketing Department where social networking is necessary. I haven't seen statistics on this, but I would imagine it far surpasses the hours wasted per week on fantasy football. I have seen statistics on that and it’s frightening!

What makes a great idea just go away?

Sometimes it happens before they’re even passed along? It could be an extraordinary idea that just fades. Why?

I would venture to say that the Status Quo is not painful enough. If the Status Quo were painful enough, the great idea would be sought after to move to a new Commitment to Change.

Would you rather have a family member administer your family’s goals or drive your family’s goals?

It depends on the size of the family goal and the role the family member takes. The difference will only be seen in larger or more complex goals. Drivers are the Leaders to a desired change. Administrators tweak self-inducing change.

Before You Dial…

Assume you’ll get voice mail every time you make a phone call. That way – even if someone picks up – you’ll be ready to deliver a brief, clear, and detailed message. Such clarity will prevent confusion – and increase your odds of getting what you need.

Source: Home Office Computing, Curtco Freedom Group.

What is constant in this world?

Making mistakes is constant...oh...and death

Should employers allow employees to date each other?

Interestingly, many companies have policies against employee dating because it can cause such problems (harassment, productivity issues) that would not otherwise have to be dealt with. However, these policies are difficult to enforce and could result in legal claims.

Does perfection take time or can instant gratification be experienced with perfection? Examples?

Wine is a good example of perfection over time. Salvation is very gratifying and can happen in an instant.

Does the law of diminishing returns apply to relationship?

This economic law states that we will get less and less extra output when we add additional doses of an input while holding other inputs fixed.

The answer to this question really depends on the environment that exists. Nothing exists in an environment that doesn't support it. A high-trust environment supports relationships and, therefore, employer-employee relationships do not have diminishing returns in a high-trust environment. Conversely, low-trust environments will have diminishing returns with any relationship.

Get rid of the word “but”

Any time you say “but”, you’re really saying you disagree and negating what was said right before. Instead, use “and” to pave the way toward agreement.

Example: Instead of “I see your point but I’d like to give it more thought,” use “I see your point and I’d like to give it more thought.”

How do you surprise a customer/client/spouse/family member (in a good way)?

I say do your best to exceed their expectations every time you deal with them.

What modern convenience(s) would you eliminate just for a week or two to simplify your life?

There are a lot of people in their 20's (and younger) that may not agree with me, but they consider video games a modern convenience and I just consider them a false sense of mastery.

How do you create accountability and ownership in a family or organization?

I've brought my teams through a program based on Patrick Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team. This reveals the main dysfunction that needs to be dealt with in each organization: Absence of Trust; Fear of Conflict; Lack of Commitment; Avoidance of Accountability and; Inattention to Results. Ownership is lacking when there is a problem with any of these areas (dysfunctions), but especially Avoidance of Accountability. Only through involvement and buy-in of the entire group to eliminate these dysfunctions will ownership in the process, family, and organization be built.

Do little “white lies" hurt?

People have long-missed the fine art of keeping their mouth shut. The truth should only be said out loud if it is "in love". If the truth only tears everyone involved down, that "truth" is not good. The truth is meant to be edifying...so either tell the truth or keep your mouth shut. Telling a lie (even a little white lie) is not a good alternative.

Is it more important to be faithful or to be successful?

Being faithful IS being successful. You can be faithful to your goals and meet them. You cannot disconnect these two words. They are not mutually exclusive. You cannot be successful if you're not faithful and you must be faithful to be successful.

Other than real emergencies, do you reply to e-Mail after each alert or do you wait for some time to pass before responding?

One thing to think about is that if you respond too fast on business e-Mails, you may not be allowing other people in your organization to grow by answering the question themselves.

Is multi-tasking good or bad?

What about driving and talking on the cell phone? What about answering email while on a Webex meeting? What about using Blackberries at a dinner table? What about…?

Does this increase productivity levels? Can we train ourselves to be better at it?
There is something called cognitive reorientation cost. It was quoted in a CIO magazine article in 2007. Too much multi-tasking is bad. Every time your mind has to switch from one subject to another, there is a transition cost (reorientation cost) that hurts a family or an organization. The more multi-tasking, the more cost. Of course, some multi-tasking is necessary, but we do too much of it.

When do you know the risk is worth it?

Transitional times are the riskiest. “Risk” is defined as the exposure to the chance of injury or loss. Unfortunately (or fortunately), if there is no risk, there is seldom a reward. Nothing ventured - nothing gained. Friedrich Von Schiller said it best when he said, “He that is over-cautious will accomplish little”. Asking the question, “Are you getting to your goal more effectively” doesn’t deny risk. That question takes risk into account. God gave us a neck to stick it out. If we are to get to our goal more effectively, we have to stick our neck out and make things happen or things will happen to us instead.

Try driving in a car and avoiding intersections or having certain careers without flying in a plane. You would find that the avoidance of risk costs much more than taking the risk in the first place.

Are crisis situations just a test of knowledge, experience, skills, diligence, and/or worth?

It's just as the Navy Seals say, “people do not rise to the occasion. They sink to their level of training.” Training and experience can be tested if an individual has it. There may be particular crisis situations where an individual may have no prior knowledge. The good news is that more can be learned from failures than successes…so even with these situations, good can be gained from the experience….for the next test.

What is the difference between an aim and an objective?

An objective is the target while an aim is the direction to the target.

How do you regain focus and vision when you’re distracted by uncertainty?

This analogy is hard to follow, but here we go:

To answer this question, it might be helpful to discuss your vision, focus, and distractions from a different standpoint.

If you were analogize seeing through a pair of glasses and wanting to regain your focus and vision when a distraction (uncertainty) arises, (in some cases) you would remove the distraction (uncertainty) by taking off your glasses (strategic vision) and wiping the dust (small uncertainty caused by lack of education or need to seek wise counsel) off of them so you could see the landscape in front of you (business focus).

However, if the distraction (uncertainty) is caused by a catastrophic storm, which breaks the lenses to your glasses (strategic vision) and changes the landscape that you’re looking at (business focus), you may have to change your strategic vision and have a new business focus all together.

The Right Way to Handle Criticism:

How did you react the last time you were criticized by a teammate or your boss? Did you seethe in silence the rest of the day? Did you blame someone else for the problem – a teammate or a customer, for instance? What’s the right way to react to criticism?

Here are three tips:

 Don’t take it personally. If someone criticizes the way you handled a situation, don’t conclude that he or she is finding fault with you as a person. Separate your job performance from your personal self-image.

 Don’t let offhand criticism slide by. When someone directs offhand criticism at you, there’s probably a specific reason for it. Say, “It would help me to know exactly what I’m doing wrong so I can correct it.”

 Don’t tune out criticism you feel is unwarranted. You score points with people when you simply listen to what they say. Acknowledge you heard the criticism, thank the person for it and move on.

What is more important to be successful? A great team of players or a team of great players?

You might have a great team that has team-camaraderie, collaboration, determination, and the ability to achieve specific goals, but that is lacking in individual accolades, having experts, or having proven track records.

On the other side, you might have experts in their profession, proven track-records, and individual stars, but might be lacking team spirit, collaboration, and achieving team goals.

I would say a team of great players may not play great together, but playing great together is the key to building success…so a great team of players is more important.

Name the top 3 crucial contributions given to you by people or situations

Name the people or turning points in your life that have helped you become the person that you are today. What people changed your life? What incidents changed your life?

The three humans that changed my life: My dad who carried on a mentor/protégé relationship before it was mainstream; My mother for loving me for who I was rather than what I did; My ex-wife for teaching me patience.

The three turning points in my life: My business coach telling me I had a problem with transition; a person in my business life telling lies and my patient and ethical response; Setting my dad’s broken wrist on a racquetball court